Like a bunch of electrically excited neurons trying to signal and transmit information in a bundle of labyrinth thoughts, I write again
Research issues? Life issues? Training issues? Injury issues? Professional guidance issues? Heck, I don’t know.
At the beginning of my doctorate studies in Milan, I had told a dear friend that I didn’t know what I was doing in Milan; what led me to where I was, what kept me there, what inspired me to keep trying. Maybe all these questions arise repeatedly because many days (and weeks) feel quite unstable, hectic, confusing, insightfully disoriented, astray, commatose at times…
It mustn’t be the true definition of PhD that causes this (Permanent head Damage), as the neurological conditions of one’s self are not so much able to affect one’s heart.
My friend kindly reminded me with ease; “you are in Milan to fulfill your dreams”.
And as confused as I am about life and true likes and passions, in the sense that I love my research, architecture, art and training, I find myself despising overused expressions of “Jack of all trades, master of none” … (yuck), which could possibly be the outcome of this life’s scenario – although my strong reaction to it has done quite the opposite so far (with a mountain’s height range for improvement – which is the problem) … I sometimes feel like my research is more of a ticket to other paths that I am passionate about, rather than the absolute destination that I am seeking …
(was that a run-on sentence or what…. )
Anyway, let me take it from the top: “as confused as I am about life…”
… I seem to be holding on quite well so far.
So maybe we should all be confused. And tortured. And in the middle of an economical crisis (this goes for Greece and all Greeks) …
… Instability is a good thing . It promotes personal evolution.
As long as one truly desires success, of course.
Only time will tell ..